Life is just making a series of mistakes until you learn better. Unfortunately, not everyone learns in time. They make the same mistake over and over, or they don’t realize how the mistake they’re making won’t be something they can undo. Can we learn without going through it personally? I’m honestly not sure, but I do think the responses on a Reddit thread about learning have given me a lot to think about, personally.
An anonymous Redditor asked, “What do people learn too late?
A lot of stuff that folks came up with is about interpersonal relationships and kindness. Some are about more practical matters, like finances. You might recognize mistakes you yourself have learned, and wish you’d gotten through your head sooner. Or, you might recognize a mistake you’re about to make—and will learn not to from reading it. Wouldn’t that be great?
Learning when to say no. Learning how to apologise when it’s your fault, and how to not apologise when it’s not your fault. —OneSalientOversight
How to manage their finances. —KreamoftheKropp
What not to share on the internet. —DetectiveBowtie
That you might be wrong sometimes. Some never learn. —FairlyUnoriginal
The value of a good/unconditional friend. —nowittynameavailable
How dangerous driving a car can be. —Wendigogod27
That it’s possible to do everything f-cking right and still lose. Just life innit —KaasmoKraymah
How to communicate —create_and_grow
That happiness usually comes from a diverse range of interests, hobbies, and commitments. You are not your job. Your romantic partner cannot be your everything, etc. It’s so easy to get sucked into a life where your career is everything or where you wrap your entire identity around your partner. There is nothing wrong with celebrating your loved ones and being close. And there is nothing wrong with caring about your job…you just need more to thrive. I see this so often in relationships.
Two people meet and fall in love. They each inspire one another based on their interests and achievements, it’s part of what makes them fall in love. But slowly, over time, they let those hobbies go. Stress gets in the way. Bills pile up. And then one day they find themselves wondering why they ever loved this person in the first place. Instead of being sexy and interesting they’re just part of a routine.
TLDR: Diversify your interests and activities to be happy. Don’t rely on a single person, hobby, or commitment to give you everything you need. —5dognowfive
Social media can consume your life. It’s not all real, and not everyone posting pictures is having a great time, and not every “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE SHOULD CATCH UP” is genuine. —Scarlaire
Don’t worry if you aren’t living an exciting or extravagant life. It’s okay to live simply and quietly. It doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life. —xxmzie_13
That they are terrible at parenting —mealteamsixty
The value of walking away from someone toxic in your life, even if it is your parents and family. If you are thinking of it and are scared and have somewhere where you can land in a safe place, then do it. It hurts like hell for a long while, but it gets better and one day you realize how peaceful your life is and you find you only miss the family you wish you had had. —irishmuminacoldland
Don’t ever think it’s ok to “talk” to yourself in a manner you wouldn’t let another human being talk to you.
The biggest abuser I ever had in my life, was my constant companion: the thoughts in my head.
We often take care to choose our words when correcting a child or friend… but if anyone had talked to me, the way I talked to me for 30 straight fucking years, I would have murdered them… and probably got away with it too.
Be nice to yourself, you’re the only you, you have —Debaser626
That some things can never be undone.
The actions you take and the words you speak will come back around sooner or later. —sherrymirza
Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try. —-eDgAR-
That most people will just help you, how and if they can, if you are honest with them
It seems like so many people feel the need to conceal what they actually want from you, and try to get it by presenting a half truth or what they think you want to hear instead of just being straight forward —pdxblazer
Sitting on your ass all day is not good for your health at all. —poopellar
Saying “I love you” or wanting to reach out to your family, friends, and loved ones, but crippling anxiety stops you. You never know when it may be too late to say these things, so be in the moment, and live/love in the present authentically. —whatthedeafearhears
That hating people who are different makes you nothing but unhappy —JazzerBee
That it’s never too late to learn. —j4yf3rb