Patricia Grisafi
We all suffer from insecurity, but sometimes insecurity can come across as behaviors associated with toxic masculinity.
On Reddit, people are sharing the tell-tale signs that a guy’s insecurity is coming across in toxic ways.
Anything from “one-upping” someone, to putting down other men’s achievements, to looking for ways to show off with violence—toxic masculinity harms both men and women and robs men of their freedom to express any interests or feelings that are not “traditionally” masculine.
With more awareness, though, men can be freed from toxic beliefs and behaviors and embrace the full range of experiences life has to offer.
1. One-Upsmanship
“Constant attempts to “one-up” anything and anyone at anytime.” —The_Obi-Wan
2. Bragging
“Constantly looking for the need to brag about your wealth and physical prowess, especially on social media. I know a few dudes who define themselves by the amount of money they’ve made or how they’re better than everyone because they practice a certain martial art.” — Retro_Riven
3. Not Supporting Other Men
“When he’s not supportive of the other men in his life. A truly masculine man loves and supports his brothers and celebrates their achievement. An insecure man brings others down to prove he’s on “top.” — Vega3gx
4. Alpha Male Claims
“If he claims to be an ‘alpha male’ — dude, if you have to tell people (loudly and often) that you’re alpha, you are definitely not.” — jhope71
5. Posting “Cringy” Graphics
“People online who post cringy graphics of a lion or the joker with an equally cringe quote next to it saying something along the lines of ‘followers work for other, the alpha works for themselves’ with some dollar signs next to it. Or other similar ‘motivational woke’ posts.” — dimdimthelesser
6. Dominating The Conversation
“Trying to dominate a conversation or activity for no reason/Being needlessly competitive.” — TheBookOfSeil
7. Fear Of Emasculation
“Here are some that I’ve seen: 1. Constant need to be in a relationship or have a ‘girlfriend’ no matter how he feels about her. 2. Guys who talk shit about women who speak up or needlessly call them names 3. Guys who are uncomfortable being CLOSE emotionally or physically around other men in fear of being gay or emasculated. Also just trust your gut around people. Everyone has insecurities but there’s a fine line as to when it’s a part of people verses when people are a part of them.” — riripaanda
8. Narrow-Mindedness
“His view on what makes a man a man is narrow. In his mind, there are only 2-3 types of men and other types are wrong.” — w1987g
9. Gives Himself A Nickname
“Creates a nickname for himself.” — FaberGrad
10. Nut On Trucks
“Putting nuts on their trucks probably.” — Marquetan
11. Showing Off
“Definitely show offs. If you are easily insulted by things tied to lack of masculinity (secretly liking pink for example) then you have fragile masculinity. Normally the truly masculine people are those that a true people. They don’t need reassurance, they show emotion and the idea of girly colours, smells etc do not exist.” — ArchangelDeltius
12. Starting Fights
“Worrying about face and honour and fighting over it. I’ve never been in s fight. 99% of my friends have never been in a fight. None of my colleagues have ever been in a fight. Yet… you come across these f**kwits who seem to think that it’s normal. Quite often they complain about it. ‘Aw I can barely leave my house without someone starting s**t.’ In every single scenario, it is them who is the problem.” — Tundur
13. Leading Echo Chambers
“The best indication of insecurity I’ve seen in this thread is the guy who saw someone in real life who seemed hyper masculine and decided to post about him online with a leading question hoping the echo chamber would make him feel better.” — RiMiBe
14. Making Fun Of Cats
“My friend introduced me to a potential love interest of hers one evening. The conversation turned to what I look for in a guy and I said I like guys who own cats. The dude immediately cut me off and said ‘I’m sorry, there’s nothing wrong with a woman who owns a cat, but there’s something wrong with a guy who does.’ The next day my friend asked me what I thought of him and I told her he’s insecure.” — Mello-Knight
15. Retreating Inward
“Nearly all the responses describe one type of insecure man – the insecure alpha / frat / bro. For someone thats not that type such as myself, the signs would be more like: avoiding interaction, soft spoken, baggier clothes, looking down a lot, avoiding eye contact, basically retreating inward. Maybe thats just my depression tho, but it surely stems from insecurity.” — Voldemort666
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