Gwenhwyfar Frazier
TikToker Brooke Miccio, 24, considers herself a “seasoned pro” at the art of the fine first date. So Brooke has recently graced TikTok with her debut list of Rules For A First Date.
And the internet has gone wild.
A lot of her rules are just good common sense, really. For example, try not to lie to a woman before you’ve even met her in person.
“I’m going to wear heels to see if you’re lying about your height,” Miccio begins, “because everyone on every dating app—every man, I should say—adds a few inches. Which is fine, but it’s just embarrassing if I show up in 2-inch heels and we’re the same height. Like, you’re lying about something somewhere. So, just be honest.”
Miccio intentionally arrives 3-5 minutes late, just to make sure that the man she’s about to meet up with has secured a table and is ready to get to know her over drinks—and only drinks. Miccio has no interest in being “trapped” into a full dinner if “we’re not vibing.”
Again, while these rules may sound a bit harsh, one must admit that they’re also extremely practical. A man who shows up slightly early or right on time can take charge of the situation by getting a table, and ensuring his date is comfortable and stress-free, and that there are no unnecessary distractions or awkwardness as the date begins. Miccio—or any woman who employs similar rules and strategies—will be able to gauge certain levels of honesty, responsibility, and reliability before she even sits down at the table.
Which brings us to another of Brooke’s rules: no date should be longer than 2.5 hours, max. Miccio says her social battery will need to be recharged after that point.
We have to agree. There’s certainly nothing wrong with pacing yourself on a first date, after all.
And, while Miccio (and any financially solvent, independent woman) will offer to pay for her half of things, a man who is trying to court a woman should be prepared to foot the bill for the entire first date. (Some of us can attest to the fact that this litmus test weeds out a lot of unnecessary second dates that wouldn’t have gone anywhere anyway.)
Some of Miccio’s rules, however, feel a little bit more arbitrary.
She wants her dates to reveal not just their astrological sign, but all the nitty-gritty details such as place and exact time of birth, “so I can do my research,” she says, regarding their astrological compatibility. Armchair astrologers among us are divided: some think that obviously such crucial information should be disclosed before a first date can even take place. Others think it’s a bit much so early on. Weren’t we trying to pace ourselves just a couple rules ago, Brooke?
Equally arbitrary is Miccio’s insistence that her date must never, at any point, attempt to hold her hand.
“There is basically nothing I hate more than having my hand held,” she explains. “I don’t like to hold hands. Do not try to hold my hand.”
Fair enough, Brooke. It’s important to have boundaries. And virtually every adult would probably agree that holding hands on a first date is a bit much. However, ahem, some of us love holding hands. While it might not be right for a first date, that doesn’t mean that it’s not right ever.
But some of her rules are universally valid.
In this day and age, it’s unlikely that a woman would want a man to come to her residence and pick her up in his car—in fact, for most adult women today, it’s difficult to believe that women of yesteryear were ever willing to do this with strange men.
In a world where women sometimes die just from taking Ubers, the idea of getting into a car with a man you’ve just begun dating seems incredibly (at least potentially) dangerous. However, if a woman shows a date this amount of trust, it’s generally understood as a social contract that he must honor it by driving her home and then waiting until she is safely inside her house before he drives away.
And, while a man is unlikely to walk or drive a woman home after a date these days, it’s obviously chivalrous and courtly to at least follow up the date with a text (or, if things went incredibly well, possibly even a phone call) to make sure the woman arrives home okay, and is safely ensconced in her home at the end of the night.
“It’s the polite thing to do,” Miccio says. “You’re sending a lady home on the streets — be like, ‘Hey, did you get home safe?’ or ‘Hey, I had a great time.’ Check in with me.”
For the most part, TikTok applauded Brooke’s list of First-Date Rules. Though there were a couple naysayers, other commenters put them down pretty quickly.
