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Ted Cruz Talks About Joe Rogan Being President If Texas Secedes From The U.S.

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During a speaking event at Texas A&M University recently, Senator Ted Cruz said that although he’s “not there yet,” if Democrats get enough of what they want done while they’re in power, the situation may become “hopeless,” at which point Texas should succeed from the U.S.

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Such a thing has not gone over well with the federal government in the past, but the suggestion was a hit with the Texas A&M crowd, even more so when Cruz said that Texas would take podcaster and siren for middle-aged white men Joe Rogan and make him president.

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“Listen, if the Democrats end the filibuster, if they fundamentally destroy the country, if they pack the Supreme Court, if they make D.C. a state, if they federalize elections and massively expand voter fraud, there may come a point where it’s hopeless,” said Cruz. “We’re not there yet. And if there comes a point where it’s hopeless, then I say we take NASA, we take the military, we take the oil.”

Cruz was reportedly responding to a question about the growing “Texit” movement, which borrows its name from the xenophobic disaster campaign in the U.K. known as “Brexit,” to drum up support for Texas to leave the U.S. and become its own country.

People utterly clueless about what it takes to become one’s own country and how much it will suddenly cost to transport people and goods across those new national borders have been peacocking about this kind of thing for years, and suggesting support is easy brownie points for far-right politicians like Ted. But it only got worse.

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“What about Joe Rogan, are you gonna take him?” asks the woman interviewing him.

“Joe Rogan?” Cruz exclaims. “He might be the president of Texas!”

Rogan is a former game show host turned MMA yeller turned cultural pundit, somehow, and is currently spending most of his time affirming the worst thoughts and instincts coming out of the heads of upper-middle-class white people to blame all their problems on the less fortunate. He currently hosts one of America’s most popular podcasts.

President Rogan wouldn’t be president of much, however, as Texas could not “take” any part of the U.S. military with it in the next-to-impossible scenario where it’s just allowed to leave, nor could it take NASA, which is based in Washington D.C. and relies on far more funding than Texas could ever provide alone.

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He would have some oil, however, which he would almost certainly burn regardless of the global future impact it would have that would also affect Texas, which just last winter suffered an unprecedented ice storm that left dozens dead.

Speaking of, there’s no shortage of Cruz critics reminding him that he has personal experience packing it up and running when things get tough rather than doing the hard work of staying and taking care of people. Texas has reportedly not upgraded its power grid to withstand extremely cold weather, and with climate change getting worse every year because everyone won’t stop burning all that oil, the state is doomed to endure similarly awful weather in the future.

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The only thing that has changed is that Cruz will never be able to get through an airport during a state-wide emergency again without being hounded by folks calling him “Cancun Cruz.”

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