Stacey Ritzen
Still unable to come to terms with reality, on Thursday President (though not for much longer) Donald Trump trotted out his ace lawyer Rudy Giuliani to make yet another case for widespread voter fraud. And by “ace lawyer” we mean his only lawyer, since pretty much every other law firm Trump had been working with has since effectively dropped him as a client. It’s funny how even lawyers don’t want to touch baseless accusations that threaten our very democracy!
But because Rudy Giuliani literally cannot get through a single press conference without making a complete baboon of himself, Trump’s best hog at the hogshit-snarfing contest appeared sweaty, out of sorts, and compared the 1992 film My Cousin Vinny to nonexistent voter fraud while hair dye poured down his face in streams.
We can honestly say, without an ounce of hyperbole, that it was magnificent.
“Did you all watch My Cousin Vinny? You know the movie?” Giuliani asked reporters. “It’s one of my favorite of all movies because he comes from Brooklyn. When the nice lady who said she saw…”
“And then he says to her, ‘How many fingers do I—'” Rudy continued, lowering voice to do a poor Joe Pesci impersonation. “‘How many fingers do I got up?’ And she says, uh, ‘Three.’ Well, she was too far away to see it was only two. These people were further away than My Cousin Vinny was from the witness.”
Between the dripping hair dye, general flailing, impersonating Joe Pesci, and even perplexingly referring to the protagonist by the title of the movie—for the umpteenth time in just a few short weeks, Twitter was riveted by the former New York City mayor.
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The year 2020 truly is the “This Is Fine” meme gone sentient. You can’t convince us otherwise.