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A Classroom Whiteboard Of Names Shows How Desperate Parents Have Gotten To Pretend Their Kids Are Unique

When I was in school, most people kind of had the same names. You’d have a handful of Joshes, three Matts, a Matthew, and a Matty in every class, and no less than a solid dozen Ashleys.

That’s just not how things go anymore. People are coming up with some absolutely bizarre names that have never existed in the histories of any cultures, to try to make their kids unique and extraordinary, when all most kids want is to more or less fit in.

This photo from what looks to be an elementary school classroom listing all the students’ names on the board is a picture-perfect example of how desperate parents have gotten in their quest to ensure that nobody else in a thousand-mile vicinity will have the same name as their child.

Names that once would have been considered particularly unique, like Eva and Wyatt, are among the only pseudo-recognizable names seen here. There’s also a David, and a Hunter if you’re a little freaky. Layla is pretty common as well, and I had a Josie as a calculus teacher once so I’ll allow it. 

But everything else is…well, if unique is what these parents were going for, they got it.

And people have some questions about those parents and their life choices.

And remember this viral tweet?

Of course, this board of names is a year old now, so the roll call from the current school year could be even wilder. But one thing you know for sure is that all of these Elexias and Zerachiels and Kayleas are going to be naming their kids things like Jennifer and Brian when the time comes. There simply aren’t anymore Ys to be added, we must revert back to basics.