Most people will admit that being a parent is hard, especially when your baby is in that stage where they can’t feed themselves and wake up every twenty minutes all night long. New moms will tell you how brutal it is. Few, however, will actually say out loud “I wish I’d never had this child” even if they’re thinking it. That seems to be why this post from a mom on Mumsnet has gone viral. She really said it.
Under the title, “If you’re thinking of having a baby – don’t,” she wrote:
Or do. But be aware it may ruin your life.
I love my son more than anything in the world, but I regret having a baby so much. It has absolutely destroyed my physical and mental health, and it’s impossible for me to envisage a time where I will ever be happy again.
I used to be a vibrant, interesting, fun person with a great family life and hobbies, purpose, and fulfillment. I’m now a shell of my former self, my world is so, so small.
If I could hit a button and go back to a time before my son existed, without remembering him or knowing he existed, I would do it without hesitation. I regret having a baby so much and I wish with all my heart and soul I hadn’t done it.
Wow. This is clearly a cry coming from a very dark place, but there’s also a grain of truth. New parents don’t always know what they’re getting into, or that their lives will change so completely they don’t recognize themselves. And maybe that old life was way better for them.
Instead of castigating her, the commenters were incredibly supportive. Some admitted they’d felt similarly early on, but it changed as their kids aged. The OP said in the comments her son is only seven months old, which is a rough time. It’s possible that the OP has postpartum depression, and many suggested she speak to a therapist or doctor about what she’s experiencing:
But this commenter said that though it could be a medical issue, we should be honest as a culture about how being a mom isn’t really for everyone:
“Just for the record, you don’t need to have PND to feel this way,” Dannyandsandy wrote. “Having children can wreck your mental heath, your body that you will never get back, your finances and freedom. Women need to be educated about the reality and not be influenced so heavily on social media. I feel for you OP.”
It’s true! For the record, the OP said a nurse prescribed her an anti-depressant but it made her insomnia so bad she had to stop. Not everything can be fixed with medicine, especially when your entire life revolves around keeping an infant happy. We should be more honest about that, and offer more support to the brave souls who decide to do it anyway.