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Medical Professionals Share Times They Tried To Talk New Parents Out Of Baby Names

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Back in 2000-2004 I worked at a hospital doing admin and an ol’ battleaxe of a senior midwife stomped over with this angry-looking pregnant teenager in tow.

“Varvara!” Old Battleaxe roared. “Varvara, open up that internetty-thing on your computer! Show this ridiculous child the first picture that appears when you type in the word Chanterelle!”

The angry pregnant teenager whined about how it was a pretty name and loads of girls were naming their little girl it, and then went stone-dead silent when she saw picture after picture of nasty sulphur-yellow mushrooms sprouting out of muddy forest floors.

The baby got that as a middle name later on, which was fine, the first name was Sophie or something along those lines. —Varvara-Sidorovna

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Before I was born, my dad wanted to name my Sky… But he thought that replacing the y with an I would be cute. Thank god my mom isn’t stupid or I may have been named Ski. —Bingo-Bongo-Cat

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Boss’s friend named their kid Monster Galileo <last name>. Nurse tried to talk them out of it. Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo. —WeaselBit

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I work in a music store that offers lessons and rents instruments. We have a list of the oddest child names.

~ Jamuary, Qwest, Sixte, She’Bra, Battle, ShyAnn are just a few on there.

~ The best one was Alivia (pronouned Ah-Lee-Vee-ah). When speaking with the grandmother she said that the mom wanted to name her Olivia but the father hated the name. Dad saw a bottle of Aleve on the counter so he and the mother compromised and came up with Alivia. —SweetLeafSC

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I tried to tell someone not to name their kid Tarmac. They learned the word from NASCAR. —Chris_Thrush

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I had a coworker named Trina. When she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband had decided to name the baby Latrine. I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers shit into.

She was horrified and changed it to Katrina. Two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. —SpecificMost19

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I was originally supposed to be lex like lex Luther my dad talked my mom into naming me Alexander and me nickname be lex but they just called me Alex —keelled

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My boyfriend’s grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn’t allowed because “it wasn’t a real name” and his grandmother had no other back up baby names.

So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming “Tina”, she named her daughter Tina because she couldn’t think of anything else on the spot. —goddesswithgatos

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Not a nurse, but my mom had to talk my dad out of wanting to name me Prudence. I wouldn’t have mind being called Prudence, but that’s just me. Now I have an even weirder name that nobody knows how to pronounce because of a popular TV show —CheshyreCheese

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My mother (who has an odd, to say the least, sense of humor) wanted to name my baby brother Ichabod Rusty.

Our surname is Ford.

She was determined to call him Ichy Rusty Ford. Tickled herself shitless through the pregnancy. And look it was funny, I mean I was 12, but everyone thought she was just being her usual goofy self.

Apparently, she got attached to it and at some point Dad just said “fuck no, we are not naming the baby that.”

They settled on something much more appropriate…

Although, these days I think the little shit might have been better named Ichy Rusty lmfao! —omega12596