There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising kids, but there are far too many tactics that seem to be picked up by parents everywhere — even ones that have hindered children’s development into well-adjusted adults, even traumatizing them in some cases.
Reddit is attempting to blow the lid off these “normal parenting tactics” after a user posed a question asking which ones people would like to see done away with altogether.
Whether you have a kid yourself or you’re just looking for the catharsis of hearing from others who have struggled with things that negatively affected your own development, this list is a must-read.
Refusing to apologize when you’re wrong.tangowangomango
invalidating their emotions, be it ignoring or shutting them down.GABBA_GH0UL
Using humiliation and embarrassment as a punishment.SubOptimalGoat
Seeing mental illness as bad behavior and trying to “discipline it out” of a kid.vincentvanwogh
Making your female children change clothes when male family members come over.No-Scarcity-6157
Not taking kids’ problems seriously. Especially bullying, or boiling things down to ‘it’s just a phase’.untakenu
Lying/making up answers to questions that the adult doesn’t think the child should know yet.PowerfulCheesecake48
Gaslighting their children into believing things that are simply not true in order to defend themselves.talkingtothemoon1
Letting one sibling bully another and turning a blind eye, with the philosophy that they should work everything out for themselves.Floomby
Invading their privacy, if I haven’t given you a reason not to trust me then why go through my phone and tear up my drawers…doctorrtimelord
“you can tell me and i won’t be mad” followed by punishing them for whatever they admit. then they wonder why their kids never talk to them.SinkTube
The classic “Stop being dramatic!” I was told this a lot. It tought me to bottle up my emotions with the other things my parents said like “No one cares how you feel” or “Get over your self!”G-moneymann
having kids before they’ve fully grown up/having kids before they’ve gone to therapy to address their own childhood trauma, as this just causes undue trauma on their kids.sargeantsunflower
Being overly protective. If you don’t let your kids fail, and protect them too much, they’ll be less capable of doing so once they’ve left home. Failure is good, just provide a safety net.MyrddinWyllt
I don’t know how common this is, but treating your own children like, well, children when they are grown-ass adults living their own lives and throwing a tantrum when they don’t bend to your will.Jolin360
Modeling embarrassment or shame around discussion of sexual organs or themes. No euphemisms, a person has a right to know the legitimate words for the parts of their bodies and their functions.ladyledylidy
Comparing them to their siblings, the good old, “why can’t you be more like (brother/sister)?” That does nothing for their self esteem and really can keep them from becoming their own person.llcucf80
Forcing your children to give family members that make them uncomfortable, hugs and kisses. Additionally inviting family who actively distress your kid to your house to stay for an extended period and forcing the kid to be nice and interact.Killjoy905
Telling your kids your personal problems. Like ‘your dad is horrible, he didn’t even do the dishes, I hate my marriage.’ Your kids are not your therapist. Also they can’t do anything to solve your problem. Instead, address your issues with your spouse and a therapist.Desiger_jpg
Saying that a kid has a boyfriend/girlfriend any time they are close friends with a child who isn’t the same gender. On top of reinforcing the idea that boys and girls can’t ever be strictly platonic friends, it’s so creepy to project adult ideas of romantic relationships onto kids who are practically still toddlers.Renmauzuo