Alison Sullivan
Anyone who has managed to meet and fall in love with someone in real life without being reported to HR is my personal hero. Good for you. You’ve gained the system. The rest of us are still in the dating app matrix, desperately trying to find a way out with a new boo.
Sadly, dating apps are incredibly reductive and even dehumanizing. And they also expose you to what clichés we all are.
That’s why people were ready with answers when Redditor u/Remm1ngton queried, “Ladies of Reddit, what are some bad phrases you’ve seen on a man’s profile?”
Maybe they were looking for tips to improve their own bio, maybe they were just giving the Ladies a space to vent. Whatever sparked this conversation, the commenters went wild.
Every one of these bad phrases are things I have personally seen and I’m sure every straight woman on Tinder has as well. Please, everyone: learn from this. We must evolve to the next level of personal biography.
1.
“I’m an open book” or “Just ask” – man give me something to work with! —sassylittlespoon
2.
Anyone that has ‘Entrepreneur’ on their profile is someone I do not want to be around —WitherWithout
3.
“I like my women the way I like my coffee: without someone else’s d-ck in it”
Weirdly common, it was funny the first time but at this point I just cringe —doievencare123
4.
“Make me change my mind about women”: it’s very manipulative and the perfect bait for ‘pick me girls’.
“I’m looking for a woman who’s smart, strong, decisional, funny, has her whole life planned… but i don’t want anything serious”: nothing wrong with using apps only for ons, but why so picky? the f-ck? —KitchenBiscotti1
5.
Any height followed by ‘because apparently that matters”.
Listing nothing but height.
A long list of reasons why they hate that particular dating app.
‘If covid didn’t take you out, can I?’
‘Does anyone ever talk on here?’
Basically, anything that doesn’t use the bio to actually tell me something interesting about the person I’m looking at. Why waste this opportunity with negativity? —EricaCrop
6.
“If you can’t take a joke or are easily offended” …. —nzkwjb
7.
“Alpha Male” “Here for a good time, not a long time” “Fluent in sarcasm” “Is anyone on here real?” —ladylovie
8.
Anyone who says they’re a “sapiosexual” is an automatic swipe left. —clumsyc
9.
Anything that’s unironically self-deprecating.
“I never get matches anyway”
“Nobody swipes right on me…”
“Too ugly/short/poor for Tinder women :((“ —you-lack-attention17
10.
a lot of guys seem to think saying “liking the office is not a personality trait” is a personality trait —loc_nessmonster0
11.
He said “I promise I won’t kill you” and then kept referring in jokes to it. “promise I’m not a serial killer, I’ll get you home on time. I love going for walks on the beach and I’ll keep you safe. Don’t worry my trunk has a safety handle on the inside and I promise I won’t kill you.” Etc what started out as a joke in the beginning actually started to scare me by the end. —You_MayBeRight
12.
I’ve seen a lot of guys’ profiles that feature like a whole paragraph of misogynistic MGTOW bullsh—t. Stuff like “women today don’t know their place, they never appreciate nice guys like me until it’s too late, they’re all so vapid and manipulative these days and I want a woman who knows how to obey, etc”.
Why on earth would you think putting that on the front of your profile would be a good way to attract women? —RottenRobyn
13.
“I take care of myself and I like girls who do the same” aka no fatties. —clumsyc
14.
“MAGA” “Everyone on here is fake” “I can be an asshole but I can also be the best gentleman” —Altruistic_Ad6189
15.
Anything involving women who can cook. “Will introduce you to my parents if you can cook” “Love a girl who can cook” etc.
If that’s the relationship two people want cool, no judgement, but to me it reads like you can’t cook and are going to expect me to do it for you. —Alternative_Answer
16.
I’ve found that with dating profiles, it’s never a good idea to immediately prattle on about what you want potential partners to do for you. You should focus on describing yourself and what you’re looking for as a person. People don’t go on dating sites looking to be someone’s butler- they want a partner or companion who they can feel at ease around. —RottenRobyn
17.
anything about “loyalty” is an instant red flag. No normal person is unusually concerned about loyalty, it’s just a given.
So “loyalty” = at best someone with a wholllle lot of damage/baggage/trust issues from prior relationship drama or at worst some abusively controlling jealous misogynist. —WeddingElly
18.
“wearing makeup is not a hobby” Then what is it then?? —darling_of_knowledge
19.
I hate it when they put “school of life” in their profile. —Silent-Mirror
20.
When they add “sarcastic” in their bio ???? we get it, you’re quirky bro ???? —hahf-ckyou_
21.
“Partner in crime.” Vomit. —Lulu_42