A TikTok analogy using a sandwich as an analogy for leaking nude photographs has gone viral with over five million views.
In the video, Meg Groff plays two different people. One asks for a bite of a sandwich and is given one. After that person takes a bite, they offer it to others without checking in with the sandwich’s owner.
The person who ate the sandwich first doesn’t understand why the owner would have a problem with the eater sharing. The owner replies, “I don’t know them and I didn’t give them permission.”
The eater says, “But you handed me the sandwich, so I should be able to do with it what I want.”
The owner counters, “Well, yeah, but when I handed you the sandwich I was under the impression that just you would have a bite, not this total stranger.”
The eater says, “OK, well if you didn’t want other people to have a bite, then you shouldn’t have handed me the sandwich.”
The analogy explains why leaking nudes is wrong in the simplest way.
BuzzFeed spoke to Groff, who said, “I’ve noticed that when it happens, we spend more time shaming the victim for sending the images in the first place than we do holding the receiver accountable for sharing something that wasn’t theirs to share. It’s all about consent and privacy,” she said, adding, “To put it plain and simple, I’m tired of peoples’ bodies being used against them.”
Groff said she came up with the sandwich analogy driving home from Starbucks. “I find that to make a big topic — like consent — easy to discuss, using everyday objects and situations makes it easier to grasp,” she said.
“I believe people of all genders and backgrounds should have the right to express their sexuality without fear of being victimized as a result of someone else’s lack of basic respect for their boundaries. This issue of victim blaming spans far past the issues of revenge porn, yet people still can’t seem to grasp why it’s wrong. We spend more time teaching people how to not be victims than we spend teaching people why it’s wrong to be the perpetrator,” she continued.
“My video was shown from the perspective of a woman being the victim of an incident like this simply because I have noticed a pattern of women in particular being shamed for expressing themselves as sexual beings. But, the bigger message I’m trying to send is applicable to all genders. Revenge porn or using someone else’s body against them is never OK.”
Meg added for parents, “Start spending less time teaching your children how not to be victims and instead direct that energy towards explaining to them why it’s wrong to be the perpetrator. The world is a scary place full of horrible people, but it’s important to remember that your kids are setting the stage for the safety of future generations.”