You know what’s great about working from home? Not having to wear a bra.
To be honest, sometimes I miss that moment when I used to walk through the door after a long day and just free myself of that garment and fling it on the floor.
But not having to wear a bra all day is pretty great.
Unfortunately, one Redditor who doesn’t wear a bra to work is getting some criticism at her job, and she’s wondering if she might be in the wrong.
“Day 1 of my new job. I wear a sweater and pants to work. I do not wear a bra. I have never worn a bra for two years at my previous job, and nobody has ever brought it up. I obviously have not been wearing a bra at home for the past year, during lockdown. I hate bras, I find them very uncomfortable and unnecessary,” the OP explains.
“Two people come up to me during the day, and say that what I’m wearing is inappropriate and that I should wear a bra to work. This is a new job, I don’t even know any of these people. I’m literally wearing a sweater, you can’t see anything, I’m all covered up. (You can’t see anything except the shape of my boobs, I guess). One woman literally told me these words, as she was complaining about my clothes. I have large boobs, but I feel that what I’m wearing is completely normal.”
“Day 2 of my new job. I do not wear a bra, but I wear a t-shirt and a jacket on top of that. I am dressed even more conservatively that day 1. Two more people give me similar criticisms again. One of them is the secretary of my supervisor, so this is getting serious. I mention to her that the office literally has no dress code, and that employees can wear what is comfortable. She says that there is still an unspoken etiquette to be followed. She also mentioned that the shape of my boobs were clearly visible.”
Is she the a**hole here?
“The real question is whether this is a hill that you want to die on. Bras are a pretty standard attire requirement, reasonable or not. As the new person in the office, you do not have the credibility to push back on that expectation without serious career repercussions. If people notice you are not wearing a bra, something about your outfit was off. I say you are NTA, but you need to wear a bra or find some way for it to be unnoticeable that you are bra-free if you want to be able to focus on your work at work,” said Veroul.
“I would go to HR and explain the situation. Tell them that you have gotten several complaints from coworkers and you want to make sure that you are not being out of compliance. This will establish that you are genuinely trying to meet company expectations and guidelines. It will also establish that people are commenting on your body (which may be an issue too and is important to be documented!) Don’t go in aggressively, rather with an attitude of bemusement and looking for advice navigating this. It might also matter who the coworkers that are complaining are. Are they super religious and might be more easily offended? (No offense meant here! Just saying that certain groups are more conservative and traditional). Not saying she shouldn’t wear a bra, but she needs to get clarification on this issue. NTA per se, but you might have to compromise here to have a successful work environment,” noted Wearealreadyhere.
“It’s crazy to me how this is a thing. Why should your employers decide what undergarments you wear? Why are they sexualizing her body in that way? I had issues with this when I went to beauty school way back in the day. My class was 100% girls and they felt uncomfortable with my not wearing a bra especially considering I identified as gay at the time. I don’t think going braless identifies as a come on, so that was a bit confusing. Like, did they think I was trying to mesmerize them with my magical lesbian boobs? Unsure. I’m very insistent on my bodily autonomy due to a lot of past trauma, so if this were my situation I’d be escalating to HR while looking for backup plans. It’s simply not acceptable,” said jkjwysa.
“Yeah there’s no way people couldn’t notice. If you are large busted you wobble everywhere and it’s extremely obvious you’re not wearing a bra. You don’t have to wear something super structured either. A super basic sports bra with straps extended the full length will provide almost no support so no weight on your shoulders, let your boobs sag as much as they do normally, but still not be wobbling about so obviously,” suggested soccer_trekkie.
“This is not your previous office. Whatever you think about how much shows people can tell you have no bra. You have been told multiple times it is unacceptable for this office. Wear a bra or find another place to work,” advised Maddie215.
What do you think the OP should do?
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