Teachers have it rough. They have to wrangle kids all day and then deal with angry parents and demanding administrators (not to mention the lesson plans, standardized test prep, grading papers, etc.). That’s why they have to ggo to school for so long to train. Still, everyone’s had a teacher who could have probably used a liiiiiiiittle bit more time in school themselves.
“What is the moment when you realized, ‘My teacher is an idiot’?”
And we rounded up the best stories of dumb teachers. Some of these stupid teachers are consistently stupid (infuriating) and some just had a brain fart moment. Others probably shouldn’t be teaching at all. Regardless, after reading these, you’ll wonder how humanity has gotten this far.
1. Lukewarm reasoning
First grade teacher demonstrating how the water temp matters when washing hands. She had 3 bowls; hot, cold, and lukewarm water. The argument was that lukewarm gets rid of more germs then the other two.
She rubbed Vaseline on 3 kids’ hands to represent “germs”. Cold kid goes first, 10 secondish wash, hands disgusting afterwards.
Hot kid (me) goes next, 3 secondish wash, hands less disgusting, but still gross.
Luke goes last. Luxurious 90 minute spa session complete with manicure. Hands look and feel carved by Michaelangelo.
I called bullsh-t. Teacher replied along the lines of “Ok, yeah, you know better. Nevermind which one of us is the grown-up.”
Logic sparked to life in my brain. Santa and the Easter bunny fell soon after. –Pscilosopher
2. Sounds fishy
She thought dolphins were fish.
No amount of arguing by third grade me was enough to convince her otherwise.
“They live in the ocean, they’re fish.” –AssociationJumpy
3. “That is not how math works”
My Algebra teacher had us take 10% off a number to find 90%, then to undo it she said take 10% of the 90% and add it back in. That is not how math works. I called her on it and she told me I was mistaken in front of the whole class. After class she admitted I was right but didn’t want to confuse everyone else. Lady, doing simple math wrong is what confused everyone else. –HonoraryCanadian
4. Just say no
In primary school, I asked my teacher what an “ounce” was. She hushed me, told me it wasn’t real and to never ask that again. As though as a nine year old I was asking about an ounce of weed and not the unit of measurement. –elfbro
5. Harsh lesson
After a substitute chemistry teacher heated a test tube over a Bunsen burner:
While securing it in a test tube holder, he absent-mindedly handed the red hot test tube to a student standing nearest to his demonstration.
The boy, trusting that “it must be okay,” got his hand badly burned and, of course, the glass test tube shattered on the floor. –Back2Bach
6. Then what is the floor made of?
Second grade teacher had our class naming the hottest things we could think of. A few kids already said the most obvious, like “sun” and “fire” so the third thing I could think of off the top of my head was “lava”. Turns out lava isn’t real, then the teacher had the whole class laugh at me for it. Made me feel stupid as hell for years until I learned that lava is real, and my teacher was a dick. –Morpheus11011
Not my teacher, but my daughter’s teacher.
In science class, they were discussing the scenario of a Skittle dropped into water. Pointing out the red cloud coming from the candy, he asked the class what was happening to the coating in that context.
Student said, “It’s dissolving.”
He argued, “No, it’s going away.” –asstyrant
8. Time to retire
When my grade 2 teacher tried to hold me back a year, only to discover that she thought I was my older sibling (3 years my senior) whom she had also taught in the 2nd grade. Tbf she was way too old to still be teaching. She may have been senile. –CrieDeCoeur
9. Veggie gators
I had a teacher who told us alligators never attack people because they are vegetarians. –mariam67
10. What a grump
I was around 5 or 6 years old and drawing pink trees. They were supposed to magnolias: obviously I was too young to remember the name but I did know them from the annual blossom viewing my family did each year, and my neighbours had one in their front garden as well. My teacher looked past and said, “there’s no such thing as pink trees.” I tried to explain that there are, “even my neighbors have one”, etc. but she cut me off and told me to stop lying. I’m still kind of mad about that lol –korenbloemen
11. Not quite!
My science lecturer said that water in a kettle boils at 60 degrees Celsius. BOILS!! –RedHotChilliFeta
12. Ice cold
Had my high school geography teacher insist that Antarctica is a country. I lost points on the test because of it… –49blower
13. Sounds dubious
My biology teacher once told me babies heads never grow, you’re born with the same size head you’ll always have. –trick2008
My wife and I were in a birthing prep class…we’re both in the medical field, but didn’t advertise it to the teacher. She was actively advising parents not to have their babies vaccinated against Hep B as newborns because she thought you get Hep B exclusively from eating contaminated foods, and couldn’t see why newborns would need such a thing.
It’s one thing to be wrong, and it’s another to be wrong and advising a room full of first-time parents with your ignorance. –ABunchofGhosts
15. Mom agrees
4th grade. She argued with me when I wrote “a unicorn” on a paper. Insisted it was AN UNICORN because U is a vowel. I knew I was correct and could not find it within me to write/say it stupidly wrong.
Yes, I was polite about it.
She sent me to the principal’s office.
My mom agreed she was an idiot. –ShadesOfCerulean
16. Escape that classroom
English teacher in a non-English speaking country where I was studying abroad insisted that the correct term is in fact “escapegoat.” –delusivelight
When my ENGLISH teacher (I’m from Italy so we have English as a second language) said “lettoochay” instead of lettuce. She was also one of the worst teachers and ended up getting replaced. –Kriumpus
18. Jellyfish are plants now I guess
I remember the time my 4th grade teacher tried educating us on what makes an animal. One of the criterion she came up with was all animals have brains.
I asked, “What about jellyfish? They don’t have brains.”
To which she replied, “Well then they aren’t alive, are they?” –cakeman936
My biology teacher in high school asked me a question regarding something she was talking about, the answer of which was projected onto the whiteboard with an overhead projector. I looked at the whiteboard, and she placed her left hand over the part that had the answer so as to conceal it. I told her that the text was still projected onto her hand and that I could see it. She was visibly upset, and then she proceeded to place her right hand on top of her left hand. I burst out with laughter, she kicked me out and called my parents. –ok-ox
20. The borned identity
In 7th grade, a teacher gave our class an assignment that included our birthplace, but she wrote on the board “where were you borned?” –KSickles318