in

Women Share Male Names That Got Ruined For Them Forever By Heinous Dudes

Warner Bros./20th Century Fox

Every once in a while, someone enters your life who is so terrible that you end up being wary of everyone with their name. For example: I don’t f**k with anyone who goes by Mel. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Melissa (psycho ex-roommate, check), a Melanie (psycho ex-roommate, check), or a Melvin (I mean, have you seen Office Space? But also, super creepy actual irl co-worker, check!), or any other given name under the sun. For example, I don’t know what Mel Gibson’s full first name is, NOR DO I CARE. If he ever walked into a restaurant I was in, I would get up and leave before the whole place imploded from bad energy, bc Mels are shady AF and not to be trusted, and he has Extra Mel vibes for days.

Featured Video Hide

You can see, then, why when Redditor u/emmamayyy posed the question,

Advertisement Hide

“Which male name has been ruined forever for you?”

My reaction was always going to be, “OK, ladies, now let’s get information!” (Yes, I know that’s not actually what Beyonce is singing. But I will take pretty much any excuse to quote any song from Lemonade, even in jest, even all these years later. Best album of the decade. And don’t come for me with your Kanye jokes, she was robbed at the Grammys that year. I love Adele, but no.)

Advertisement Hide

Anyway, here are some productive responses to that question.

1. Obligatory

“At this point, I just feel bad for Chads and Karens who aren’t, well, Chads and Karens.”

ns930

Advertisement Hide

2. Patently obvious

“Adolf.”

maxbirkoff

“Sometimes all it takes is one person.”

Embarrassed-Town-293

Advertisement Hide

3. Overgeneralizing, but also kinda has a point

“Majority of biblical names. Blows my mind ppl that shitty can have names so holy LOL”

hecatsmeow1111

“Getting harassed by a guy named Jedediah, describes my Catholic school pretty good.”

Mystery-time-lady

Advertisement Hide

4. The President who tried to help fuel a coup on his way out

“Donald.”

Tigger808

“My beloved uncle who raised me is Donald. And these past years have been reallllly tough for his ilk.”

Eventually_Here

Advertisement Hide

5. Players

“Mike. They’re always players.”

wineshivers

“Stop, I call the Mike that I know ‘Milk’ because I’m vegan and I don’t fuck with it lmao. He’s the biggest player.”

plantmama104

Advertisement Hide

6. Should maybe not be the name for everyone’s favorite gift-giving Saint

“Nick. Every nick I’ve ever met has been an asshole. Also that last ex I had was crazy manipulative and emotionally abusive, and spelled it Nic. Because “there’s no k in my name, so why the hell would I spell it with one eye roll” after I asked why he spelled it that way bc I’d never seen that spelling before, I was just curious and he made me feel like a total idiot (that would be a theme in our relationship)

balladsofmissnowhere

“Seconded, I’ve not met a Nick who didn’t deserve smack.”

Latraell

“I also knew a Nic[k] who was a pretentious fuckwad.”

Plz-Transplain-To-Me
Advertisement Hide

7. The guy who cheated on Gwen Stefani (then faded into total obscurity, where he belongs)

“Gavin 🤮🤮🤮🤮”

rubbermaid456

“Ngl that name sounds disgusting”

kiro254
Advertisement Hide

8. When even your own kid is willing to say it

“Scott – every one I’ve met has been an asshole.”

catlover_with_dogs54

“I see you’ve met my father.”

beegobuzz
Advertisement Hide

9. Kevin, the male Karen

“Kevin.”

belle_shell

“I feel like Kyle, Kevin and Cato are friends, and they used to abuse local stray animals together when they were kids.”

EmbarrassedSloth
Advertisement Hide

10. Regardless of your opinion on Khloe

“Tristan Thompson”

calluna5

“Nice to see you on reddit, Khloe!”

LifeLibertyPancakes
Advertisement Hide

11. Sometimes, an entire letter gets ruined (and there is a weirdly large consensus around one letter in particular)

“Anything beginning with J

I ‘dated’ 3 guys in a row and they weren’t the best of experiences. My friends and I made up this rule that all Js were bad and though I no longer believe that obviously, the prejudice kinda just stuck.”

love_Carlotta

“J names!”

Tiffany_Torres
Advertisement Hide

“Yes, J names! I use to say I had a curse of the Js because I dated so many jerks whose name started with a J.”

PrincessFarrahK

“The Duggars ruined this. For all of us.”

VanFam

“Yes! Every guy I’ve met whose name started with J has been bad news

The J curse is real”

redcokecan23
Advertisement Hide

“I’m happy I am not the only one! When I met my husband, my sister immediately said, PLEASE tell me his name doesn’t start with a damn J! Nope, a P, and no J anywhere in his full name. curse broken

flemi_

12. How you feel after you’ve watched The Crown

“Charles. Fuck you in particular.”

myfoodiscooking
Advertisement Hide

“Charles sounds like the name of a British jerk”

smallt0wng1rl

“When my younger child was 4 or 5, they learned about the Chucky franchise (older siblings and several older kids right next door). They were horrified, so much that they wouldn’t allow us to say the name ‘Chucky,’ so we referred to him as ‘Charles’ for years.”

searedscallops

Advertisement Hide

13. Oh Danny boy

“Daniel. Daniels are all manipulative assholes.”

Sorry-Potato-680

“Every Daniel I’ve met was the kind of guy to set a public building on fire while laughing like The Joker.”

MixedCaribbeanOman

Advertisement Hide

14. Kevin’s animal-harming BFF

“Kyle. Have never met a Kyle who wasnt an arse.”

Psychological_Bar870

“Step the f**k up, Kyle!”

gingrpopsicles

Advertisement Hide

15. Saved the worst for last

“Paul.”

kngObito

Finally.

hollowcrown4