In Machine Gun Kelly’s feature-length documentary about his career, he goes into detail about a night when he had a shotgun in his mouth while on the phone with fiancée Megan Fox.
The Life in Pink documentary was released on Hulu this week. There is a scene where Kelly thinks back on the importance of a show he performed in his hometown of Cleveland in December 2021 to a packed crowd and how that concert compared to his earlier performances. Afterward, the conversation shifted to the singer’s song “Lonely” from his latest album, Tickets to My Downfall, which was released in September last year. The song’s lyrics give reference to the death of Kelly’s father in July 2020.
Kelly said in the documentary that songs that deal with painful truths like “Lonely” are “necessary” to listeners, and that many of his fans listen to his music “because of the pain that they relate to” in the songs.
He went on to say that the combination of his father’s death and a “weird interaction” worsened his condition at that time.
“I wouldn’t leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark. Like, Megan went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and I started getting this really wild paranoia,” he said in the documentary. “Like I kept getting paranoid that someone was gonna come and kill me. And then there was this, I would always sleep with a shotgun next to my bed and, like, one of the days I just fucking snapped.”
The singer said that at that time, he called Fox and was “freaking out” on her at the time.
“I was like, ‘You weren’t here for me,’” Kelly said. “I’m in my room and I’m, like, freaking out on her. Dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth and I’m yelling on the phone and, like, the barrel’s in my mouth and I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet — as it comes back up — the shell just gets jammed.”
“Megan’s, like, dead silent. That was kind of where I started realizing something’s not right.”
After that point, Kelly said, both Fox and his 12-year-old daughter Casie approached him with similar concerns about what was happening with him.
“Megan’s like, ‘There’s two yous’ and it was the same thing with my daughter,” Kelly said. Their words, according to the singer, were what finally helped him see the need to, as he put it, “kick the drugs.”
The documentary shares its name with the deluxe edition re-release of Kelly’s Mainstream Sellout album. The album was released on Friday and includes an acoustic version of “Maybe,” which was produced by Travis Barker.
Machine Gun Kelly is currently on his international Mainstream Sellout Tour, which stops in Madison Square Garden today, June 28, before moving out west.