Kate Hackett
Everyone hits an age when they realize their parents are just people. They make mistakes, they’re not perfect, and hopefully that realization stops there and you develop a healthy, adult relationship with your family.
Unfortunately, not everyone has parents that deserve that adult relationship. Sometimes, you learn that your parents are just truly awful people capable of deep, lasting hurt. Redditor u/birdie_72 recently learned that her dad is one of those people and she’s struggling to forgive him.
She posted to Reddit’s AITA sub wondering if she was an asshole for not wanting to meet her dad’s affair child. Here’s what she wrote:
I (f16) will admit I have and always will have a close relationship with my mom (f40) she is truly a amazing women. She has a great job and is honestly beautiful.
OP begins by saying she has always been close to her mom.
Yet about a year ago we found out my dad (m42)is having a affair with a women who is now 26 she is only 10 years older then me. Her and I have less of a age gap then my dad and her have.
And about a year ago, they both learned that her father had been having an affair with a much younger woman.
My mom even though she was upset she has never trash talked my dad. I am so upset though it would have been one thing for him to ask for a divorce instead he cheated with someone much younger then him.
OP’s mom has not said anything negative to OP about her dad, but OP remains deeply hurt and upset that her father cheated with someone, especially someone so young!
Him and his affair moved about 2 hours away. I have seen him about 5 times since this all happened a year ago. I act pleasant when I see them, but things are awkward and my dad and I’s relationship is clearly strained.
OP doesn’t see her father very often anymore; he and the other woman have moved a few hours away. Things are … awkward.
So my dad’s affair is pregnant. He called me yesterday and asking if I wanted to go to the gender reveal party next weekend. I told him no.
The dad and the new woman have started a family. OP has no interest in meeting the baby, in participating in the events around the birth.
He asked why I said I didn’t want to talk about it. He kept pushing me going saying how the baby will be my little sibling. I got annoyed and went off. I told him how It would have been one thing for him to get a divorce from mom but you didn’t have the guts for that so instead you have a affair. So no I’m not going to accept your little affair baby as a sibling.
She finally exploded with all the pent-up anger she has toward her dad. Unfortunately, it’s really spilling onto this unborn kid.
He called me an immature brat. He later texted my mom complaining about how immature I am and how I need to grow up and accept that (his mistress name) and the baby is going to be part of my family. AITA?
The dad is furious, OP is not sure if she’s in the wrong or not.
Before we dive into Reddit’s verdict, I think there’s a little “everyone sucks here” with a dash of “less than dad, though”.
Yeah — dad had an affair. Yeah — that’s sh-tty and terrible. But at some point, OP has to decide whether or not she wants to forgive him. If she doesn’t, she needs to step away from him and any relationship they may have. If she does, she needs to work toward that. And regardless of whether or not she wants to forgive her dad, she cannot hold it against this baby.
But that’s hard to do as an adult and OP is only 16.
