Meet The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (June 15 – 19)

Mars added us to “Close Friends” https://t.co/bTrLRGuKi4

— Diablo ????‍♂️ fan acc (@bloodlinethief) June 16, 2020

I will “no worries if not!” people into the fcking ground

— ???????????????????????????????????? (@spinubzilla) June 16, 2020

They… they make special gloves for that? pic.twitter.com/BmuoNZJQx8

— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) June 14, 2020

If you're wondering who the dumbest person in the world is, I put latte mug of tea in the microwave, but the mug was too tall, so I poured some tea out and tried to put the mug back in.

— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) June 18, 2020

I still can’t believe men pee standing up in a line like they’re the fcking rockettes

— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) June 17, 2020

honestly worst purchase of 2020 was a 2020 planner

— dumpster baby (@laurenrosaaa) June 15, 2020

I will either respond to your email immediately or three years from now

— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) June 16, 2020

technically a pool noodle is a bucatini

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) June 15, 2020

“This person’s so funny. I bet if I date them we’ll spend all of our time laughing!”
—normal person whose life is about to be destroyed

— Daley Haggar (@d_haggar) June 17, 2020

“Tomorrow is another day” used to be something people said to encourage each other but now it kind of just feels like a threat.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 14, 2020

My gyno told me that in her 20 yrs of practice, I have the strongest pelvic floor she’s ever seen so if you feel a shift in energy when I enter the room it’s cos this is the level of confidence I’m walking with now.

— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) June 16, 2020

Easy mistake. Who among us has not gotten diarrhea then put out a news alert about it https://t.co/TfxdOMZiHG

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) June 16, 2020

Just realized there has never been an easier time for teenagers to buy beer with a fake ID. “Oh that doesn’t look like me? Really? You can tell just from the eyes? No I will NOT take my mask off.”

— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) June 18, 2020

they should do something about the guy on the pringles cans too tbh. not a racial thing i just don’t like his energy.

— Alexis “Bring Back Bunheads” Wilson (@sassyblackdiva) June 17, 2020

A girl I went to high school with just announced that she’s a grandmother, and my right hip disintegrated.

— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) June 16, 2020

why are people going to brunch you had like three months to learn how to poach a goddamn egg

— ???????????????????????????????????? (@spinubzilla) June 20, 2020

y’all don’t social distance nearly enough for me. i’m about to start wearing natural deodorant

— ß (@holychrissy) June 18, 2020

I slapped his ass and called him juicy and he went to my mom … the look on his face ???? pic.twitter.com/3BAOhH7joQ

— ????????????✨ (@jazfitt) June 18, 2020

Just seen some fireflies those fuckers are so aggressively magical!!!! How dare u bring me whimsy bug

— abolition in this lifetime (@Muna_Mire) June 17, 2020

When you decide to start an Onlyfans pic.twitter.com/4zACHwXCE1

— Savannah Solo ????????‍♀️ Onlyfans (@savannah_solo) June 20, 2020