Stephanie Barnes
Women cheat, men cheat, but the excuses given to justify these shady actions can be hilarious and sometimes, just plain dumb. The excuses are often on the same level as the ever-popular, “My dog ate my homework…” spiel we’d resort to as children. However, these excuses are a lot worse, because they’re coming from adults.
In a recent Reddit thread, women are answering the question: “What’s the dumbest excuse you’ve ever heard for cheating?”
The answers will leave you questioning whether people are actually that silly IRL. Several women also mentioned having partners quickly step into the role of victim and attempting to shift blame. Either way, it’s all bad.
And while we absolutely don’t endorse cheating, we’ve put together 20 of the dumbest excuses, according to the women of Reddit.
1. Another way to say “I love you…”
“It means I love you more. I may mess around with other girls but at the end of the day, I’ll always come home to you and choose to stick with you.”
throwawayra4101
2. Fun is important
Yup. “Well, if you had been more fun to be with…”
campfiresandcats
3. Not secure enough
Ooh! My ex-wife informed me she cheated because… she wasn’t feeling secure enough in our relationship.
Femmeforever
4. What had happen was…
“I didn’t feel desired enoughhhhhh”
Then f–king tell me instead of going on f–king dating apps!!
And I gave him a second chance?!?? What the f–k was I thinking.
Frenchitwist
5. She wasn’t “nice enough”
He played the victim the entire time saying I was “not nice and understanding enough” about him cheating lmao.
birdsofwar1
6. “I f–ked her. I make love to you.”
That’s what my dad told my mom after a decade of cheating.
wastingATP
7. He needed a break
That my libido was so high that he needed a break by screwing another woman.
Yes, you read that right.
“I’m tired of you wanting sex all the time so I needed to have more sex because we’re having too much sex.”
Lady_von_Stinkbeaver
8. “Just porn”
My ex kept telling me it was “just porn”. Like sorry no, if you know the women personally, it is not just porn.
sasspancakes
9. Filling gaps
“He needs a woman to fill in the gap for certain things, you’re not around, I had to try and step up!”
The husband’s f–king awesome, so this went nowhere.
SAPERPXX
10. Always room for improvement?
“Well, I figured since I got you, I must be able to do better.”
Narrator voice: He was not able to do better and came back two weeks later to a giant F U.
MrsUWP
11. How considerate?
Afterwards when admitting, he said to me “I wasn’t even hard” “I couldnt finish” “I was thinking of you the whole time”
jalapenohoe
12. Self-discovery
“I’m just finding myself.” Well, I guess you found you were a scumbag.
HeathenAmericana
13. Shared trauma
“My mum died when I was 18 and so did hers and we bonded???”
secrethedgehog5
14. “It just happened…”
My ex told me, “I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just happened.”
After they spent 4 months having an emotional affair. They moved in together one week after finally hooking up on lunch when I was homesick.
Susurrusilously
15. She was “too busy”
My ex told me that he was chatting with other women on dating sites because he needed someone to talk to when I was busy with the kids.
Inevitable_Ad4003
16. It was basically over, he said
“The relationship was already basically over.” Well then be a grown-up and end it. Stop sticking around in a relationship where you aren’t fulfilled and finally get a divorce/move out/break up.
Leila3907
17. Her depression made him do it
My ex said he was driven to it by my depression after our miscarriage. 🤔
PMmeDeepThoughts
18. A slip and fall
The dumbest one: I was in the bathtub, my ex came in, slipped, and fell with her mouth on my d-ck. I swear.
bigmomma179
19. Might as well!
“She was gonna tell you we f–ked anyway, so I thought I might as well f–k her, you know?”
Gingermumma678
20. Lovers in a past life
They “discovered” they were lovers in a past life, so there was no fighting it. Seriously.
StopDutchingMe