Another woman is being accused of overreacting after her male partner did something he really should not have done and then claimed that she’s the one who is “embarrassing.” This time, it’s a woman who described herself as being “150% afraid of heights,” having a full phobia that impacts her life. She made a Reddit account to ask strangers if she was the one in the wrong after leaving her vacation with her boyfriend because he acted like he was going to throw her into the actual Grand Canyon.
And no, the boyfriend was not unaware of her fear. In fact, she had only agreed to go to the Grand Canyon in spite of her phobia because he assured her that he would help her stay away from the scary edges and support her if she panicked. He was, however, lying.
“I had multiple convos with my BF about my fears,” she wrote. “At least 5 separate, in-depth convos about how scared I was about having a panic attack around strangers (I have a long history of panic attacks). He assured me he’d help me maintain my distance from ledges & calm me down if I got overwhelmed/scared.”
Panic attacks are very unpleasant experiences even when they don’t happen in public spaces, so it was very brave of the OP to decide to try and face her fear by seeing one of the greatest natural marvels in the U.S. Unfortunately, her boyfriend might have only made her phobia worse with what he called a “joke” and his reaction when she didn’t find it the least bit funny — in large part because he triggered the panic attack she feared.
“Well on day 1 on our tour, we stopped at a scenic lookout to take pictures & he decided it’d be funny to grab me & pretend to try & push me over the edge of the cliff. I immediately freaked out & (unsurprisingly) had a panic attack, all in front of our group while the poor guide tried to calm me down.”
This poor woman then spends the next couple of paragraphs talking about how embarrassed she is about her own, largely involuntary reaction to having her phobia triggered by the person she was supposed to trust. She even says she was an “a–hole” for strongly expressing her dismay and saying some mildly hurtful things to him in her highly distressed state.
“I told him he was a horrible person & his ex was right to leave him. (Context: His ex left him bc she thought he was immature, but she left right before a ‘high profile’ family event & embarrassed him among his family.) He yelled that was f—ed up to say & in hindsight I think he’s right, especially since it was in public.”
Maybe it wasn’t the ideal thing to say in the moment, but it can hardly be compared to what her boyfriend did to her. He also seems to have some kind of issue with feeling embarrassed by girlfriends, and may have acted to turn their mutual friends against her after she left the vacation to spend time with her parents, even though this didn’t even inconvenience him.
“They’re particularly mad that I left him in Arizona. I don’t think what I did was worth all the hate I’m getting. I left him the rental car & hotel room & took an Uber to the airport, I paid for everything myself (including our hotel room), & I left a note in the room telling him I was going to my parents’.”
She further says she only talked about what happened to her closest friends, so the hate campaign against her by the rest of their friend group can only be coming from her boyfriend. Helpful tip to all the ladies out there: If your friends ever call you a “psycho b—h” for standing up for yourself, they’re not your friends after all.
This particular Reddit thread was for some reason locked before it could gain a final judgment, but based on the supportive comments, and the content of the story itself, she almost certainly would have been ruled NTA. The OP personally thanked a lot of commenters for their kind words, particularly those pointing out that her boyfriend may be the source of her insecurities if this is how he acts and that she is not the “embarrassing” one in this story.