A confused dad turned to r/AmItheA–hole to figure out why his daughter is still mad at him after missing her wedding, and luckily, the people of Reddit were quick to tell him he shouldn’t be confused at all. The reason she’s mad is that he is an a-hole. His question was posted under the name u/OddRip2252 with the title, “AITA for missing most of my daughter’s wedding after she scheduled hers a day after my stepdaughter’s wedding even though I tried to be there?”
The dad starts off by saying that his biological has been “resentful” of his step-daughter as she was growing up, and so “we’ve had to deal with a lot of issues related to this resentment.”
He goes on to say that “the unfortunate reality” is that because of shared custody with his ex, he ended up spending more time with the stepdaughter who lived with him, as her bio father died when she was only two years old.
“I love them both equally and I’ve never shown preferential treatment towards my stepdaughter, something my daughter always accuses me of,” he insists.
Then, in 2019, his stepdaughter sent out a save the date for a Saturday in September. Soon after, his daughter called him and he says she was furious and accused the stepdaughter of planning a wedding the day before her own on purpose.
The daughter’s wedding was on Sunday that same weekend. The stepdaughter insists it was a coincidence because they don’t even talk.
The issue was that my daughter’s wedding was happening in another state that is a 13-hour drive away. And both of them wanted me to walk them down the aisle. All of my extended family chose to attend my daughter’s wedding over my stepdaughter’s.
I did the math and I calculated that if I left my stepdaughter’s wedding at 10 pm and drove through the night, I’d make it with 2 hours to freshen up and get ready. Unfortunately, I got lost along the way plus traffic and I missed the actual wedding ceremony. My daughter’s stepfather ended up walking her down the aisle by himself.
I feel like I tried my best to make both my children happy but I failed one of them completely. My stepdaughter and her husband have been attacked on Facebook by my daughter’s friends who are claiming that my stepdaughter planned it on purpose. And when I tried to clear up the situation I was completely shut down.
The OP says he gave his daughter money for a honeymoon in Japan as an apology, but she’s still pissed. He also said in a comment that part of the reason he missed the second wedding is that he stayed at the reception the night before until 10 pm because a woman there told him “it’s extremely rude for the father of the bride to leave early.”
Dad wanted to know if he was wrong for not skipping his stepdaughter’s wedding to go to his bio daughter’s wedding. For almost everyone, the answer was definitely yes. Not because he tried to do both, but because of the way he did it, leaving everything to the last second with no time to spare, offering his daughter a tired worn-out travel-stained dad. Except she didn’t even get that.
Though, as some folks pointed out, at least now his daughter has some proof of the favoritism he’s been denying all along.