If you’ve ever been in a relationship where things seem like they are going downhill, it’s likely that certain behaviors (or breakup signs) are familiar to you. Maybe your partner gave you the silent treatment when there was conflict or they were mad. Or maybe you felt like your partner treated you with contempt, always talking down to you and making you feel badly about yourself.
In a viral TikTok, self-love coach Alex Scot shared what is known as “The Four Horseman” behaviors that can often be predictors of breakups.
Scot explained in her video how the four behaviors are statistically proven to predict the demise of a relationship. The first Horseman is contempt.
Scot says that this is the worst one and defines it as “when you talk down to your partner as if you are superior & they are less than.”
The second Horseman is defensiveness.
Scot explains that this is basically when your partner brings up something you do that upsets or bothers them and instead of having a conversation or making good faith efforts to change, you just defend your behavior.
The third Horseman is stonewalling, which is essentially the silent treatment.
So again, if something is brought up you don’t address it or have a conversation—you stop talking altogether and refuse to engage with your partner.
The last Horseman is criticism.
Scot says this is criticizing the person instead of the action. For example, instead of saying that “you never help around the house,” you should focus on the act. “I’m frustrated that the trash hasn’t been taken out yet,” is a more helpful way to convey your emotions.