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20 Subtle Things People Say That Are Actually Huge Red Flags

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Redditors are bonding together to discuss some glaringly red flags that come in the form of “subtle” statements people tend to make.

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We’ve all had the experience of looking back over past relationships (of all types) that turned sour and feeling like we should have seen the signs. Often, people reveal their darker selves in very small, blink-and-you-miss-it ways that are easy to write off as harmless or a misunderstanding. But catching those red flags early on and, at the very least, being on guard for future behavior that signals you were right to worry can save a whole lot of heartache and drama in the end.

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1.

“Ok fine I’m sorry happy?” That’s not an apology.

Celq124

2.

“I try to be more like my kids’ friend than their mom.”

holyurushiol
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3.

“Yeah, but YOU don’t act black.” The f—k?

cherenkov_light

4.

Positive vibes only!

gfitzy7

5.

“I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.”

SelfDiagnosedUnicorn
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6.

It was just a joke. Where’s your sense of humor?

chuchimumi
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7.

When they are the victim in all of their stories.

POded99

8.

But you’re so good at it. Aka I’ll compliment you in the hope that you’ll take this task off my hands.

amelie_v

9.

I personally move away from people who constantly one up someone’s story or experience.

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10.

“I’m brutally honest” or some other excuse to be an unbearable person.

mywifemademegetthis
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11.

Never asking a question. My husband realized his father never does this and now I can’t stop listening for this.

foofoofoobears

12.

When people talk shit on their spouses. Like even in the most subtle way it’s still not appropriate small talk.

Unhappy-Addendum-759

13.

Asking what music you listen to, then immediately critiquing it, especially when you like main stream stuff. 

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14.

When someone says “they’re my karma child” and implies their child makes their life so hard it must be payback for a mistake they made in the past.

thesensiblething
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15.

When they disagree with someone, they default to attacking the person’s character instead of their actions. We all do this from time to time, but with some people it’s every time.

Celestaria

16.

If they wronged you and say something like, “I’m such a terrible person, you should leave me.” It’s them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you.

AnonyMissBliss

17.

Pretty much anytime somebody says something about themself when it’s not prompted or necessary. Like “I’m an honest person”, “I’m a hard worker”, or “I’d never hit a woman.”

jrhawk42
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18.

“Sorry I did this and that, It’s just my inner zodiac sign.” Like, your zodiac sign doesn’t define you, you’re just being a shitty person and using that phrase as a cover up.

Tiredchopsticks
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19.

In my experience people who think they are empaths are actually just extremely self involved. They project their own emotions so hard on to another person that they think they are in fact experiencing the other person’s emotions.

CordyVorkosigan

20.

Idk if this is one, but when people say things like “I can say and do whatever I want” “it’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?” in order to justify shitty things they say or do. Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say.

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