Patricia Grisafi
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a while or just started dating someone new, everyone has a limit regarding the kind of crap they will put up with. Refuses to use a condom? Bye! Nasty to customer service? See you later! Stalking? No thanks!
On Reddit, people are sharing the moments in their relationships that led them to say NOPE and get the hell out of Dodge.
Guess what? These are all teachable moments. If you start dating someone, and you find out they have a history of spiking peoples’ drinks, peace out.
1. All in the family
“When she game home drunk one night, asking me if my brother had told me. ‘Told me what?’ Her: that I cheated on you with him?” — pdAVEUS
2. No condoms
“I had a very long and toxic relationship with an ex. I had wanted to leave for years, but he would threaten to kill himself and I would end up staying. I finally got the courage to walk away when I was diagnosed with several benign liver tumors and was told by the doctor that it was very important with this type of tumor to immediately and permanently stop taking hormonal birth control. I researched it on my own and confirmed the single most important thing I could do to avoid further complications was to stop taking hormonal birth control for good.
I told my (then husband) about the appointment and he said, so calmly ‘Well that’s going to be a problem.’ I was like, what do you mean? I’ll go to the gyno as soon as I can get an appointment and we can just use condoms until then. Nope. Condoms were unacceptable because we were married. And not having sex until I got to the gyno was also unacceptable.
What really made my blood run cold though, was when he suggested that I should continue to take birth control as normal and just not tell the doctor. “He’ll never know,” he said. Then he went on to suggest maybe I could go on and off birth control so I’d be off of it before any follow up appointments with this doctor, to ensure that he’d never know. I was totally stunned and I just looked at him and said, ‘You understand this could kill me? This isn’t about placating a doctor, this is about my life.’ He just shrugged and said he wasn’t using condoms and I needed to ‘figure it out.’ I did figure it out. I left him more than a decade ago and have never been happier.” — SharMarali
3. Cookie rage
“We went to the mall and stopped by this little kiosk selling cookies. I decided that I would get one cookie. The lady working there said if I buy 2 I get one free. I decided to buy two and get the third one free. My date WENT OFF on this lady saying she’s trying to scam me etc. etc. He was legit yelling so loud that it was echoing through the mall. It was so embarrassing. If you’re rude to people in customer service, you’re not for me.” — lotus_flower2419
4. Stalker
“After our first date she sent me a Google maps pin of my address with just ‘Haha’ as the only context. I hadn’t told her my address then followed it up with asking how my boss was doing by using his first name. I hadn’t mentioned the name of anyone from my work. That level of stalker made me pull the eject handle real quick.” — TotallyWorrie
5. X-treme birth control
6. Rude interruption
“My brother came to visit me. After I spend whole day with my gf, it was time to see my brother because we did not see each other for a long time. We prepared some snacks and about to start Lord of the Rings because both of us love Lord of the Rings. She called me and started a long conversation on phone. I said my brother waits for me and she said that I cannot spend my time with anyone because it belongs to her. It was the last talk between two of us.” — vtoken6
7. Sleep stabber
“Married for six years. Started out thinking she just struggled with depression and anxiety sometimes, but things kept escalating. I walked away when she started threatening to stab me in my sleep. We had already tried several couples therapists and individual therapists, but she refused to consider medication. I called her to meet up and try to find some closure, but she cut me off telling me I wasn’t allowed to leave her and as punishment she was sleeping with two other guys. At that point I just ignored her number and filed for divorce. Hope she’s doing well, but glad to not be afraid for my life!” — QuestionableKoala
8. Secret relationship
“She wanted our relationship to be exclusive but secret.” — Smooth-Revolution958
9. Negative sharing
“Told everybody she knew about any little disagreement. Anytime I could be perceived unreasonable it was everyone’s business. But somehow the surprises, special dates, lending her cousin rent money, all of that wasn’t brought up. Just negative stuff was public knowledge.” — No-Umpire4788
10. Dramatic date
“Followed me to a night out, got on his knees stopping traffic in the middle of a city centre street to declare his love. We had been on two dates. He also told me that same night he could see into the future and already knew he was going to die defending my honour while I was carrying our twins. Yeah… he was fun.” — whatsername235
11. Possessive and possessed
“Showed up late at my place one night because she couldn’t sleep at her place alone. I was fine with that until she started talking about the reason why: when she was alone, the demons in the corners and edges of the room would fill the dark spots and watch with their glowing eyes. Urged her continuously to get help, to go to the doctor but she wouldn’t do it — what she was seeing was real. I felt terrible leaving her for that but I wasn’t equipped to deal with someone who needed professional help and refused it.” — zerobeat
12. Giving a tour
“Lady stayed the night for first time then started taking pictures of my house the next morning and posting them on social media. She put my bedroom, living room, and master bath on and I was like…what are you doing. She said, ‘I want everyone to see your place.’ I said, ‘Uhh, let me take you home.’ Told her I didn’t like that she did that. Then she complained on social media how I was so petty for not liking her posting my house. Then called me up to go out again. I was just astonished she thought I would be like post my house, speak ill of me, and come on back. That was one night… NOPE.” — Cannotakema
13. Tantrum sex
“She threw her phone at the wall and stormed out the first time I said no to sex (just wasn’t in the mood). I mean, at least it was her own phone, but Jesus.” — GfxJG
14. No empathy
“Two weeks after my mother died he asked ‘is that still bothering you?'” — Mental_Vacation
15. Bad “joke”
“We weren’t in a relationship but I had a developing thing with a guy once, until one day when I wasn’t around he and some other friends of ours went to a bar and he sneakily slipped stronger alcohol into some other girl’s drink there. This girl apparently was talking a lot with one of our other friends and not showing much attention to him, so he got jealous and threw this friend on the floor and started to strangle him. He was obviously thrown out of the bar after that and later tried to play it off as ‘just a joke’ and ‘just messing around.’ How do you jokingly try to strangle someone anyway??? Anyway I dropped this guy out of my life right after I found out. I definitely wouldn’t want to be stuck with someone like that.” — Kuukauris
16. Moving too fast
“She wanted to get married after the first date.” — mangoiy
17. Bad driver
“He was violent when angry…like crazy angry. What did me in was when he sped up on a dark county road and turned off the headlights…we survived and as soon as we got into town I got out of the car and relationship.” — DoggyTrots
18. Dumped over dumplings
“He canceled my meal order while I went to the bathroom because he thought I ordered too much. It was just small extra dumpling.”—summermode
19. Off-putting comment
“‘Not like you’re not pretty, but you would be so much more attractive if you looked like [insert my baby sister’s name].’
To which I said, ‘you mean 15 years younger (and a minor), 6′, blonde, and a size 2?’
He said it in front of his friends, and everything went dead silent. His best friend punched his arm and told him he was being a dick. I got up and walked out. His sister called later to apologize for him being an asshole, and told me his entire family was pissed at him.
Worst part? He genuinely didn’t think he did anything wrong.”—schroedingersnewcat
20. Out-of-control controlling
“He wanted me to spend time only with him or my family. He checked my phone and wanted me to have only 5 chats: my mum, my dad, my sibling and him. I could not talk, say hi or hug my male friends and eventually I was not allowed to have them. I wasn’t allowed to meet my girlfriends either. At some point he took my phone and unfollowed every male in my instagram. He used to come to my place and stay there with me to avoid going out. I dreamt about traveling to Japan but he said no because at that time I really liked one Japanese actor and he was afraid I could meet him and fall for him. Toxic af. I had balls to break up only after two years of relationship. He stalked me a couple of weeks after. Now I value myself lot more and would never ever let someone do something like this.”—Fckngbanana
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