There are some things you should know about your significant other when you get married: are they a morning or night person? Do they like tacos? Are they an animal lover? Have they boinked anyone in your immediate family?
One Redditor had a friends-with-benefits relationship with a girl for three years—before the girl met his brother, who she later married.
The OP says that although he and the girl did not have sex while she was dating his brother, both of them didn’t disclose their past relationship—and then the OP’s brother got married to the girl.
Eventually, the brother found out about the OP and his wife’s past relationship and became livid.
“Me (23M) and my brother’s (26M) wife (23F) have known each other long before they started dating. We met in freshman year of college and almost immediately became friends with benefits, this went on for about 3 years maybe every other day. We weren’t compatible at all so we never dated, just sex. During that time both of us have gotten into relationships but nothing serious so we didn’t stop,” the OP said.
“3 years ago they two of them met at a party I hosted and they hit it off, fast forward a year and they’re married. During that time they were dating we didn’t have sex at all out of respect for my brother. A couple of days ago they got drunk, her way more than him, and she mentioned it. He was absolutely furious. He called me to confront me about it and I didn’t think it was that big of a deal and since it was before they started dating, none of his business. He started screaming at me, packed his bags and went to stay with a friend. I didn’t know he would be so mad about it and he hasn’t been answering any of ours calls or texts. So, am I the asshole?”
I mean, that’s information that is absolutely pertinent. What do Redditors think?
“YTA, your brother…..started dating a girl you boinked… multiple times. Then he got engaged and you didn’t tell him. Then he got MARRIED and you still didn’t tell him!!! You and the wife are both AH,” said box246.
“‘We didn’t have sex out of respect for me brother.’ Well yeah, no shit Sherlock, for most people being in a relationship = ‘not boinking anyone else without my explicit knowledge/consent.’ That’s not some sort of special consideration you give just because someone happens to be your brother. That’s called ‘not cheating,” said Stormdanc3
“Oh my god, this is absolutely relevant information. He feels like a dupe now. Nobody wants to find our their spouse and sibling kept something like that hidden for years,” explained madelinegumbo.
“Yes you should have told him. She ALSO should have told him. The other thing that got me is you two stopped purely out of respect for him, but not because she wanted to stop? Because she would have cheated on another dude with you, but oh not your brother? You both should have said something, before they stared dating,” noted QuitaQuites.
“This wasn’t a one-night stand. This was 3 years of screwing. She should never have even entertained the idea of dating him, knowing he was your brother. There are plenty of fish in the sea. And you should have mentioned it as soon as you heard even a whisper in the wind that they might get together. It doesn’t matter that she wasn’t your ‘current’ FWB at the time,’ said RB1327.
Featured Image: Unsplash