Kate Hackett
Imagine having the gall to stay in a friend’s home and then ask that they change their decor to suit your weird sensibilities.
You can’t imagine that because it’s utter nonsense, right?
Not according to u/Throw55257765, who actually did JUST THIS to his friend.
He explains that he and his wife lost their apartment and moved in with his mother. After issues popped up, a friend let them move in.
Me (M32) and my wife, Dahlia (F28) lost our apartment 2 months ago and moved in with mom temporarily. Issues began to arise between Dahlia and mom and I had to ask my friend, Anthony (M31) to let us move in til I get enough money to rent out. His wife was away visiting family and he agreed but even there, some issues started to arise.
And then the problems arose. Apparently his wife is very conservative and had “issues”.
Fyi, Dahlia is very shy around Anthony. She grew up in conservative home and so it’s understandable, but sometimes it can be a bit much I admit that!
She is incredibly off around her husband’s friend, who sounds like a saint and was very kind about her hangups.
For example, she freaked out when she accidently drank from his glass, she also once made a fuss when he passed by the guests room when she was lying down and the door was open. Thankfully, Anthony was super understanding and we were able to talk some of these issues out.
Until… OP’s wife saw a photo of the friend and the friend’s wife kissing. It “made her uncomfortable”.
Last night, Dahlia was passing the hall and noticed a framed picture of Anthony and his wife kissing hanging on the wall. She told me about it and said it made her uncomfortable.
So OP and his wife decided to ASK THEIR FRIEND TO REMOVE IT. God, this is so WEIRD.
She asked if I could speak to Anthony about it but he didn’t take it well. He gave me a look when I spoke to him and said this was “bonkers” because first of all, his wife put it there.
The friend said this was “bonkers” (it is) and told them both no, he wouldn’t remove their normal kissing picture.
And second of all, the picture holds sentimental meaning to him and his wife and argued that it wasn’t some “explicit” picture of them, just a normal wedding kiss. We started arguing and he said that it wasn’t like it was hanging in the living room wall or a perfectly lit room.
OP had the balls to ask his friend to “be more considerate”. The friend said absolutely not and they argued.
I asked him to be a little more considerate because it’s not like I asked him to remove it completely, just move it elsewhere that Dahlia won’t reach or keep it off the wall til we leave. He said he was sorry but still refused. I explained how Dahlia was feeling but he said that again, he was sorry but would not move the picture. We argued some more and he said that it’s his house and that I was being pushy and kind of too comfortable to make such “demand” and be pushy still.
Now OP’s wife won’t come out of her room if the picture is up. The friend will not remove it. And OP somehow thinks his wife is right to even request this.
This morning, Dahlia refused to even come out of the room until the picture is moved. Anthony is refusing which makes it worse. Now I feel like I’m getting stuck between a rock and a hard place. Yes she might just be over reacting but I feel like this isn’t such a big ask for Anthony to decline and turn down. fwiw If it were me, I’d go the extra mile to make sure my guests are comfortable.
OP explains that they’re close friends and he didn’t think this was a big ask, but hoo-boy he’s about to lose this close pal.
Anthony has been a friend of mine for 10 years. I wouldn’t have asked to move in with him if I didn’t have such strong bond with him. He himself constantly talks about all the things and situations I helped him out with and we are considered brothers.
Reddit quickly knew that this guy was the asshole.
“You’re in their home. Your friend is doing you a huge favour and this is what he gets in return? Your wife is being weird as fuck. You’re enabling/coddling her. Find somewhere else to live if you’re going to behave like that,” wrote one user.
Another said, “You are guests in their home because you are currently homeless. Your wife is clearly the problem here. Get a grip. YTA.”
