Some people think it’s not right to talk ill of the dead — this Redditor’s mother has another philosophy. And instead of just talking ill, she’s gone further and marked her dead husband’s gravestone with a very harsh epitaph.
Now, there are definitely some unusual epitaphs out in the world (If you’ve been to Key West, Florida, there’s one that says, “I Told You I Was Sick”), but did she go too far? And does the OP have any responsibility to rectify the situation with a nicer message?
“My father and mother had a very bitter marriage towards the end of his life, he had a long running affair with another married co-worker and got her pregnant before he passed. He was planning to leave mom, skip the country and move to Canada to start a new life with her. They had a house picked out and all,” the OP says.
“He had moved out and was living with his co-worker when he suddenly died of a heart attack while having sex. Divorce papers were never filed, no legal separation. They were in the process of moving all things legal. But on paper, they were still happily married. Now me and my siblings are already out of home, our youngest sibling is 19 and is in college. I work for a tech company and I’m currently back in my hometown helping my mom manage his estate.”
“Well, my mom was hurt and petty and marked his gravestone as ‘In loving memory of John Doe, son, husband, father and adulterer.’ My dad’s family and his pregnant partner are mad and want me to fix it. I personally think it’s fine, that’s who he was. He was all of those things. And since it’s my mom’s plot, I can’t do anything.”
Talk about a revenge plot!
“I would DIE (no pun intended) if I was walking through a cemetery and saw that! Your mom is an icon. NTA. I hope she burns his old shirts or something. Also, while going through estate papers and talking to lawyers, ask about what rights the side piece will have in claiming money for her kid, since it was your dad‘s kid too. Just so you’re all prepared,” said NatureWoman22.
“NTA your mom’s a straight bad ass though,” said Ju5tc411m3A.
“NTA – it’s not yours, it’s your mom’s to deal with. She’s given her answer on the matter, so it’s closed. If they’re so offended by the accurate description, then perhaps they should go buy a park bench at a park and dedicate it to him how they want to dedicate it to him and go there to ‘visit’ him…this is so not your problem at all. BTW, your mom is awesome,” suggested No-Policy-4095.
“Everyone’s cheering it on. Yet there’s a dead man, a single woman with a child, and a child without a dad and with siblings that want nothing to do with him/her. Then the child will go to his/her dad’s grave and it’s insulting. Yes, he cheated and that’s rubbish. But he was a living complex human being who’s not even been afforded dignity in death. Feel a bit sick reading these comments cheering it on,” explained kinder74.
“I really only feel bad for unborn child and for y’all having to deal with your parents’ immaturity tbh. Your mother is petty and bitter, your father was an ass, and the mistress is an idiot for getting pregnant by an older married man. That’s all I’ve got. The mistress might as well get a lawyer, established paternity, see what the child is entitled to, and get SS,” said callalilliesinbloom.
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