When you become someone’s partner and they have a pet, there is a certain expectation that you will treat that pet well. Who wants to date someone who doesn’t love your fur baby? Or at least treat them with care?
A Redditor on r/AmItheA–hole seems to be struggling with this basic concept of human decency.
Calling himself u/animalguythrwawy, he asked, “Aita for refusing to leave the bar with my GF early to go check on her dog, and telling her that her dog is not my problem.”
He and his girlfriend “Julie” have been together for a year and half and live together:
Julie is great but if there’s one thing I don’t love about her is that she’s one of those “dog moms”. Like constantly referring to her Yorkie (I think that’s what it is) as “her child” which I can’t stand. She has a stroller that she takes the dog out in that I find utterly ridiculous.
The dog is kept in a crate when they’re out because the OP says otherwise is will make a toilet mess all over the apartment. But he says Julie gets separation anxiety and after about two hours she starts having a “panic attack” to get back and let her dog out.
This all came to a head when they met friends at a bar and after about three hours Julie wanted to go home. He says she was making “comments letting me know she wanted to go and was getting upset.”
I finally decided I had enough and I asked to talk to her outside away from everybody. I said something along these lines.
“Look if you would like me to call you an Uber to go back, I will. But it’s not my dog, I’m done letting my social life be dictated by a damn dog. It probably doesn’t mind being in the crate, and if it does it’s a dog so whatever. You can go, but I’m staying with our friends. Your dog isn’t my responsibility.”
She got angry and told me that not supporting the dog is not supporting her. I said there’s a difference between supporting a dog and revolving my life around one. And the latter is not something I’m willing to do. She ended up leaving and I stayed.
We got in a fight when I got home and she’s been weird ever since. I apologized if I sounded rude and hurt her feelings but I still stand by the principle of what I said. It’s a dog, not a kid, you can leave your dog at home for however long to go live your life. I don’t see how that’s a problem.
The backlash against the OP was intense and until I started reading some of his responses I was kind of on the fence. It does seem intense that someone would bail on a hang after two hours because of a dog, but as several people pointed out, the OP was likely totally aware that something like this might happen.
Talking about it beforehand would be the appropriate and respectful thing to do, not springing it on her in the parking lot:
And the OP violated the whole point of the subreddit by rejecting basically every point made against him or saying his girlfriend might be dealing with deeper anxiety issues than just with her dog:
He also added this on his post:
“Edit: this is hilarious.”
Yes, very hilarious that you asked if you were an a–hole, everyone said yes, and now it’s a “joke.”