When you start living together with a significant other, it can be a lot of fun — if you sort out the financial details and come to an agreement. While many young people rent, some are lucky to have enough money to afford a house.
One Redditor recently found her “dream house” and wants to purchase it with her savings. She and her partner are not married and don’t plan to be married anytime soon, but she wants him to live with her. Now, they are arguing about whose name is going on the papers.
“I (22F) and my bf (25M) have been together for about 4 years. We started living together 2 years ago in an apartment and it’s been great! I recently got a new job and make around $80k a year and have been wanting to get out of our apartment and into a house. My bf on the other hand doesn’t have a very good work ethic and has had about 8 different jobs in the 4 years we have been together, all making minimum wage. I brought up getting a house and he was totally on board with it so we started house hunting,” the OP writes.
“I have enough in my savings for a down payment and to cover all the closing cost but my boyfriend doesn’t have any saving and lives paycheck to paycheck. We currently split our rent 50/50 and he pays his bills (car payment, insurance, etc.) on his own and I pick up all the groceries, wifi, dog stuff. I’m totally fine with the fact I pick up more expenses since I make more than him and he’s never complained. When we were looking for a house we kept the price range small enough to where I could pay for it alone so we could use his earrings as extra cash. But we agreed to split the mortgage 50/50 (which would be cheaper than our current rent) and I would pay the water, electric, home insurance, etc.”
“We finally found our dream house and are going to be signing the papers in a couple weeks. I mentioned to him that I would like to be the only name on the home since we are buying it with my savings and we aren’t married and don’t plan to be married anytime soon. He is now upset with me about it bc it’s supposed to be “our house”. I’ve told him that it is OUR house but legally it will just me mine bc I don’t want to put $400k on the line. He said that if it’s just going to be my house that he shouldn’t have to pay to live there. I disagree, it would be like paying rent anywhere else and when/if we get married we will change the agreement. He hasn’t talked to me for 3 days now and I really don’t think I’m in the wrong here. So AITA?”
What do Redditors think?
“NTA. Any lawyer or fiduciary would say this would be a very dumb move with huge risk to you. OP, if/when you get married, then you can talk to attorneys and figure out how he can buy into the house in a way that takes his previous rent payments into account. I get that he’s upset he won’t have any equity, but that can come later,” advised Shaking-Cliches.
“NTA, your money, your house. What if you break up? He could force you to sell and give you half, I think. He doesn’t put any money in, so he doesn’t get ownership. Stand your ground on this and protect yourself,” said likeahike.
“NTA and if you boo thinks it’s okay to punish you with the silent treatment because you refuse to allow him to own half of something he isn’t paying for, then girl put on your big girl panties and tell him fine; if you want to live at my house, I’ll become your landlord and you pay rent to me, at the martlet rate. Don’t stay with anyone whose trying to take advantage of you financially,” said chitterpop.
“Please have a real estate attorney in your area write up an agreement. If he helps pay the mortgage he may be considered an owner of the home in some states if you were to break up. Please find out what the rules are where you live and sort something out in writing. I have had friends do this and if they break up it’s much easier. If you don’t break up and get married you can add his name to the house,” stated zimthedragonqueen.
“Girl, don’t put his name on the house. You’re NTA, you’re not his mother, what is he thinking that he won’t have to pay rent? He doesn’t pay rent, he can live somewhere else. That’s beyond ridiculous. You’re already covering his lifestyle, you’re not married, if his name is on the deed he has some sort of rights to equity (I’m assuming). Most importantly, congratulations on your first house! Enjoy it, and remember the amount of work it has taken you to get where you are. Stay strong, and don’t take his pouting crap,” said jcacca.
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