Kylie Rancor
The great thing about the spectrum of sexuality being more and more embraced as time plods forward is we can start to have open conversations about things that really matter—like what it’s like to date men vs what it’s like to date women.
And who better to ask than bisexuals who date both?
An Askreddit thread got straight to the point, asking any bi Redditors who have experienced the best (and worst) of both worlds to chime in with their thoughts on how dating women differs from dating men.
Most readily acknowledged that it all comes down to personal experience rather than sweeping generalizations about gender, but the responses are still fascinating to read nonetheless—and according to some users, rather helpful for future dating expectations.
1.
Men have been more appreciative of being ‘cared’ for. Women care for you back equally.
Lonewolfing
2.
They both think their signals are clear. They are not.
ssssssssssssiphalis
3.
Women like snacks and will usually bring/have snacks. Men also like snacks, but usually won’t have them ready. They’re more likely to say “let’s go get snacks.”
automaticdream
4.
Most gay men are into this whole dominate vs. submissive thing and it’s a lot of their life/personality. With women it’s more about just being together I would say.
irishfootfox
5.
when on a date with a guy, going to the bathroom is a great way to get some space. when on a date with a girl, if you say “i have to use the bathroom” the girl usually says “oh me too lets go”
burritobangs
6.
Oh, small difference – I always insist on splitting the bill, which is pretty typical for same-sex dating. I think sometimes guys think that means I don’t like them.
ferret-fu
7.
The women I dated were on top of their lives but emotionally all over the place; the men were emotionally more solid but their laundry was everywhere.
Natural-Hamster-3998
8.
If a man wants to talk to you he’ll jump straight in your DMs with something friendly. If a woman wants to talk to you there has to be a whole palpable reason for the conversation to get started.
Total_Indecision
9.
Bisexual lady here. Men have a tendency to assume that you’re looking for a more ‘serious’ relationship than they are, even if you explicitly say otherwise. And are suckers for cuddles. Women like kissing more.
astudyinbowie
10.
In my experience, gay men have been the least receptive to the fact that I’m bi. Straight women tend to be hesitant, but if they’ve already shown interest in me they usually are still interested after I tell them I’m bi.
profan1028
11.
I find men to be more romantic and more interested in monogamy. women are easier to talk to and easier to argue with and then be able to walk back from the argument sooner. men are more forward, at least initially. two girls could have a crush on each other for ten years and never work up the nerve to mention it.
Far_Ad_8813
12.
Bi dude here. The main thing I noticed is that women are much quicker to adopt a mentality of serving their SO. Men are rugged individualists and tend to look out for #1. For that reason, I think men, especially ones who have been single for a while, have difficulty adapting to the co-dependent nature of relationships.
m0rbid0peth
13.
I’m a bisexual man. I find the dynamics of trust to be vastly different between my male and female companions. Men have been quicker to trust me, but became more nervous over time; women needed more time to build that trust, but once it was there, it was solid.
CurveOfTheUniverse
14.
Dating a man feels like one of your male best friends decided he likes dick one day. Dating women feels “softer” and even though common interests are there, there’s more of that listening to their interests because they like it and you’re interested in them and not because you care about the subject at hand.
shinyphanpy
15.
It’s much harder to find a girl who wants to date you than a guy if you’re a girl. Either you keep finding straight women, or you both are afraid of being too forward and no one makes the first move. Guys are way less shy about it. But since it’s so much harder to get a girlfriend, the relationships with women tend to last longer, because we wouldn’t have gotten together if we weren’t pretty sure we were compatible.
mothwhimsy
16.
Both genders are bad at communicating but in completely different ways. Men are more likely to not tell you information that would be important to you simply because they don’t deem it important…Women are more likely to not tell you information important to them because they see it as obvious.
If they have to tell you the issue, then you’re not paying attention to them and the issue at hand or you’re not as invested in the relationship as they are.
Twilcario
17.
One thing I noticed back when I was dating was that women have a lot more baggage when it comes to physical intimacy. Women go through a lot, they have tons of pressures put on them, many have had negative sexual experiences. It’s, well, just more complicated. The guys I dated were frankly much more direct and more simplistic about it. I’m not saying either of these descriptions apply to all women or men, but that was my experience. With guys it was like ‘hey, wanna make out?’ and just sort of that simple.
haroldtitus425