This story on r/AmItheA–hole on Reddit is one of those tales where I hope the person goes through with the horrible thing they’re planning…because I want the person they’re dating to realize they deserve better.
Posted by u/Dontheman25, the OP asked, “AITA (27M) for not paying for my GF (28F) to come on my family’s vacation even though I could easily afford to?”
It’s a good question, because not everyone is always at a place in their relationship where they have to do everything together, and not everyone can afford to take a second person along on adventures. However, as the OP explained, it became evident that there’s a reason his girlfriend can’t afford a vacation: she’s paying for them both to live!
“My GF of almost 3 years just bought a new condo that we recently moved into,” he begins. “She works a full-time job and for the past year also worked a part-time job to save for the down payment and other maintenance costs. She bought it about 2 months ago, then had to buy a washer/dryer, fix a plumbing issue, etc.”
He then says that his family visits their home country, Japan, on a yearly basis to see relatives. This year, his girlfriend has spent so much on condo expenses that she can’t afford to come along:
My older brother was very curious as to why she is not coming on the trip. When I told her she could not afford it, he asked “but you can pay for her to come, so why not do it?” He knows I have a lot of money saved since I lived with our parents until I was 26, rent-free. He also advises me on investments that have done well.
I told him it is not my job to provide a vacation for her, that she is an adult. He was shocked and thought it was a disgrace that she worked 2 jobs to provide a place for us to live yet I could not provide a vacation for her in return. He even offered to pay for her to come although I think he just said this to piss me off. So, AITA?
Like, yes? Obviously? No, it’s not your job, but you have the money in part because your girlfriend is shouldering costs for YOUR living expenses. In comments, the OP says he pays 40 percent of the mortgage, but she has covered all the closing costs, taxes, and fees associated with buying property. If she were charging him real rent, it would definitely be more than 40 percent.
The story got to Twitter, where people picked him apart for his selfishness and short-sightedness:
And on Reddit, after most people told him he was an a-hole, they started shipping the OP’s girlfriend and the thoughtful brother:
So, yes, go to Japan alone, and see if the locks have been changed on the condo doors when you come home.